Sacrifice Despite Preferences

What does it mean for the church when Christians deny their ability to forbear with other believers and lay down their lives for them?

I recently read a popular post about how we should not be afraid to replant ourselves in communities and situations where we will grow and be celebrated and nourished. The post specifically encouraged believers to grow as large as their capacity, saying, “You do not have to sink roots down any further into soil now taking more nutrients than it gives” because “cramped pots hold the soil of scarcity which keep us and others small.”

So we should leave a church if we don’t feel celebrated or aren’t served as much as we believe we should?

How do we reconcile this with the gospel? 
How does Jesus’ life model this idea?

It doesn’t. He didn’t seek a cosmic landscape artist to assist in a mission to replant himself where others wouldn’t take as many nutrients from him. Instead, he gives us an example as he, preparing to go to the cross, wraps himself in a towel, washes feet, cares for the hurting, calms the fears of his followers, and speaks life to a dead world severely in need of the cleansing he alone offers.

Scripture calls us to empty ourselves for the good of others, not demanding celebration before (or after) service. Obedience, self-denial, and self-sacrifice are hallmarks of the gospel. If we are called to model our lives after Christ, then we must follow him into joyful obedience, laying down our lives and preferences, our eagerness to satisfy personal tastes, and our fleshly desires to be seen and validated in the world.

Not Celebrated?

When we look at the Bible, we find many stories of people doing the Lord’s work, fulfilling the call he sovereignly placed on their lives, only to discover they were not at all celebrated. Quite the opposite. We see Joseph, Jeremiah, Hosea (and nearly every other prophet), Paul, and Jesus himself in cruel circumstances where they were resisted, imprisoned, called to pursue a love-less marriage, and brutally crucified for the sins of the world because of obedience. What would be the cost if they had refused their jobs because they were not celebrated? 

If we jump ship at the first opportunity for sacrifice, are we contributing to the church’s health and the upward cause of Christ? And if we’re constantly evaluating if we’re giving more nourishment than receiving, where is our focus? 

If those are our terms when committing to a local church, perhaps it is because our eyes have shifted from the Christ of the Bible to other people or, most deadly, ourselves and our preferences for our brief time on earth. The desire for preferential treatment is as old as the Garden and seeped in a Pharisaism that wants to set the terms and be God more than glorify him.

The reality of life in a world under the curse of sin with other humans under the same curse means sometimes we will be around others who drain and misunderstand us. Sometimes we will not be seen or heard or cherished the way we crave, but that does not let us off the hook of obedience, giving us a pass to disregard Scripture and flee tough situations and opportunities to lay down our lives.

We are a temple made of living stones. Sometimes those stones will bear down on one another as they lift each other up. Sometimes the stones will scratch each other as they are more deeply grooved together in an architecture of grace, the building up for the exaltation of the One we’re displaying to the world, and in that process, we are called to extend grace, compassion, gentleness, and patience mutually. And when that is not mutually extended, we are not exempted from our side of the command.

If we are not loved, we are still called to love.
If we are not heard, we are still called to hear.
If we are not served, we are still called to serve.
If we are not cared for, we are still called to care.
If we are not welcomed, we are still called to welcome.
If we are not celebrated, we are still called to celebrate.
If we are not rejoiced in, we are still called to rejoice in others.

I’m not advocating staying in abuse of any sort. I’m talking about being a follower of Christ who calls us to deny ourselves, take up our crosses, and avoid holding onto our preferred reception in this life because a better reception awaits. In that truth and in the reality of what Jesus has done for us—the creatures most offensive to his holiness—we give our cloaks, our cheeks, and our hearts to the very people who might bruise them. 

We keep our hearts soft and our hands open because God in Christ did not come to be served but to serve (Matthew 20:28). We offer ourselves for others, even when those who should offer themselves for us don’t. We outdo one another in showing honor, compassionately caring for others with the gentleness we desire, and covering wounds with the Neosporin of the gospel. How? By looking to Christ, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross (Hebrews 12:2). He modeled joy in sorrow. He demonstrated how to lay aside our rights and lay down our liberties—in life and death—to those who would take advantage of him. 

Because of Christ…

Because of Christ, we have been given grace upon grace, not only for the replacement of our rebellious sin-soaked hearts, but for the purpose of showering that same grace on those who mistreat us or misinterpret our intentions (John 1:16, Ezekiel 36:25–27, Ephesians 4:32). 

Because of Christ, we have been grafted into the True Vine, and no longer need to demand from other branches that which only the Vine can give (John 15:4). 

Because of Christ, we have been bought with a high price, the price of his blood, so that we may know him and the power of his resurrection. This gives eternal comfort in every moment of life which eclipses circumstantial discomfort and stress, for in all our afflictions, he was afflicted (1 Corinthians 6:20, Isaiah 63:9).

Because of Christ, we have received divine hospitality so we can show hospitality to others without fear because the worst thing that could happen to us—eternal separation from a holy God—has been taken care of (Philippians 2:3–8, Colossians 1:18–22, Hebrews 13:1–2). 

Because of Christ, we can endure sorrow while doing good. We can entrust ourselves to him, who judges justly and knows what it’s like to be reviled and not revile in return (1 Peter 2:19–25).

Because of Christ, we can love sacrificially and lavishly, as he did for us, recognizing that to honor him and others is of higher value than anything it could cost us (John 13:34–35, 1 Peter 2:21, 1 Timothy 6:17–19).

Because of Christ, we do not have to react harshly out of hurt. We can lovingly cover an offense with the blanket of his grace and gentleness (1 Peter 4:8, Proverbs 15:1).

Because of Christ, we have a great High Priest who sympathizes with our weaknesses and was tempted in every way as we are yet without sin so that we can now boldly go to the throne of grace with every confidence that he will supply help and mercy in our time of need (Hebrews 4:15–16).

Because of Christ, we have been given the necessary nutrients to keep feeding others to the denial of ourselves because we have a greater Source of food—to do the will of the Lord (John 6:48–53, 4:34), 2 Peter 1:3).  

Because of Christ, our good works are not dependent on our feelings but on a righteousness not our own (Galatians 5:13–14, 1 Peter 1:22–23). 

Because of Christ, we have been given the life, strength, and sustenance to produce fruit through his Spirit to bless others and give them a refuge in our branches (Galatians 5:22–24, Matthew 13:31–32, 2 Timothy 2:1–2).

Because of Christ, we don’t have to run at the first sign of conflict, misunderstanding, or jilted preferences but can spread our roots deeper into the church and community in which God has already planted us (Romans 12:9–18).

Because of Christ, we have been met with grace that empowers us to sacrificially serve for the exaltation of Jesus and the joy of all people, including those that injure us, because there are no contingencies to Christ’s commands (John 13:14–15, Titus 3:1–3).

Because of Christ, we have been freed from the tyranny of people’s opinions and placing our hope and security in their reception or rejection of us, for Jesus was rejected on our behalf so the Father would receive us. All else pales in comparison (Titus 2:11–14, Colossians 3:23–24).

A Watered Garden

And in a divinely designed cosmic irrigation system, God has engineered for us to pour ourselves out to others as a conduit of his water running through us—to bless others and do good works so others may join us in glorifying God—while at the same time, we are further watered through his Word, his people, and in service to him. 

“Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered.” -Proverbs 11:25

The Lord, through Isaiah, expounds on this idea, saying that as we pour ourselves out for others we will not be emptied but more full: 

“…if you pour yourself out for the hungry
    and satisfy the desire of the afflicted,
then shall your light rise in the darkness
    and your gloom be as the noonday.
And the Lord will guide you continually
    and satisfy your desire in scorched places
    and make your bones strong;
and you shall be like a watered garden,
    like a spring of water,
    whose waters do not fail.”
-Isaiah 58:10-11

Paul reiterates that point in his second letter to the Corinthians:

“He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness. You will be enriched in every way to be generous in every way, which through us will produce thanksgiving to God.” -2 Corinthians 9:10–11

Because we have experienced God’s forgiveness and grace for our biggest debt against Him, we can be extravagant in generosity, patient with the offenses of others, and far-reaching with mercy and kindness when we are overlooked, mistreated, or under-appreciated (Ephesians 4:1–3). And in the giving of our very heart, we are not diminished but filled, strengthened and sustained by a power and life not our own.

“Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.” -Proverbs 19:11

One day we will be seated with Christ in the new heavens and the new earth, and our mind will not be preoccupied with examining if we’re being celebrated or whether or not we’re giving more than getting. Rather, we will joyfully and wholly be caught up in the eternal celebration of another, the One who modeled sacrifice to the fullest extent, the scarred servant King who was despised and rejected so we could be reconciled to God and have the power to imitate his life in whatever situation he sovereignly places us. May we do so with our whole hearts as we live and lay down our lives for what will matter in 30,000 years.