I Wish I Would Have Told Her…

“Is that one of those flexible rings?” she asked with 10 year old eyes. I nodded and showed her it was.

“Where’s your other rings?” she asked while smiling at Susannah Jane playing in my lap.

“At home.” I said. “I gained weight during the pregnancy, so I can’t wear them right now.”

Her face scrunched in concern. “Was your husband mad? …that you gained weight?”

This floored me, you guys. She’s 10. Ten years old and this was her worry.

I shook my head and said, “Absolutely not, he’s the best,” and her relief was tangible.

I assured her you’re supposed to gain weight during pregnancy because your body is doing miraculous things like growing a whole human. But I was so caught off guard I didn’t know what else to say right then.

But now I do.

I wish I would have asked why she was afraid he would be mad.

And then I wish I would have told her a real man will love you because of who you are, not what you look like.

I wish I would have told her a real man won’t make you fear losing his love because of a number.

I wish I would have told her a real man protects your insecurities and doesn’t exploit them.

I wish I would have told her a real man does not base his love, affection, kindness, or commitment on anything as arbitrary as physicality, but on a covenant.

I wish I would have told her true beauty is not attached to a body standard.

I wish I would have told her the fears she has about the way she looks only have power if we let them.

I wish I would have told her she was beautiful and made exactly how the Lord designed, just so she could hear it one more time.

I wish I would have told her how loved she is for her, not her body.

I wish I would have told her she was made on purpose by a Creator who loves her and makes no mistakes.

I didn’t think fast enough to tell her. But I can tell you. And maybe you can tell someone else so we are all reminded that our worth does not come from clothing sizes or scales or anyone’s opinions, but from the One who fashioned us with intention and precision for this geographical location at this moment in history.

May He give us the grace to believe it.