Progressive.
That’s what healing is. It’s not always overnight or immediate, not always fixed with a Band-Aid or kiss from mom, not always quick and easy or even medically treatable. Sometimes it just takes time. And sometimes, even months or years later, something can happen that tears open an old wound. You thought scar tissue was protecting it, but then even that gets severed. The new rip in the old wound causes grief to pour out like a torrent while you desperately look around for a compress and wish you’d have been prepared with a tourniquet.
But that’s the thing. One is never prepared for the scab being torn off a wound. It’s like accidentally scraping a sunburn. If you knew it was coming, you would have stopped it. But it always catches you off guard.
This week has been hard. Wounds I thought were mended were ripped back open, ushering in layers of loneliness, isolation, and insecurities that I haven’t battled in an extremely long time.
Darkness is a traitor.
Grief is a thief.
Insecurity is a tormentor.
That’s a trifector of terror.
All week it has felt like hand to hand combat with that unholy trinity and, though the severity has lessened, I’m still in the battle. But God has won the war. Victory is not only coming, it’s here. And it’s here for you too.
Though the enemy rears its ugly head and our flesh acts counter to our desire to honor God above all, Jesus Christ is not defeated and we have not been abandoned. As the heaving waves of life in this broken world bang into our little ships, we have a sure and steady anchor for the soul—Jesus Christ, the hope of glory. He is with us. He is for us. He is working in our weakness. He is perfecting His purpose. He is causing worship to swirl in our hearts for so great a salvation as this.
This is our joy. This is our rest. This is our sustaining grace. This is our life.
Beyond trusted friends who have listened and fought with and for me, here are some resources that have helped me this week; I hope they might be an encouragement to you as well:
This chapter, charged with the greatness of God and His supremacy, has helped my eyes recalibrate onto the unchanging truth of who He is not on fleeting circumstances.
Embrace the Life God Has Given You (a two-minute video on grief)
God has used this video massively to help navigate emotions and yet maintain hope and perspective.
The Bruised Reed by Richard Sibbes
“The winds may toss the ship wherein Christ is, but not overturn it. The waves may dash against the rock, but they only break themselves against it.” -Richard Sibbes
“We are weak, but we are His…” -Richard Sibbes
Spurgeon’s Advice to Suffering Christians
“How much more wonderful is the Bible to me now than it was a few months ago! In obeying the Lord, and bearing his reproach outside the camp, I have not received new promises; but the result to me is much the same as if I had done so, for the old ones have opened up to me with richer stores.” -Charles Spurgeon
This quote:
“‘I am with you always’ is enough for my soul to live upon no matter who forsakes me.” -Charles Spurgeon
Sophie Miller 
I think the answer lies in forgiveness. Sometimes things I think I had forgiven and forgotten, come back and remind me that I still have work to do.
Mmm, that’s a good thought!