search instagram arrow-down

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.



instagram @sophie_usa

No Instagram images were found.

Follow me as I follow Jesus

True Beauty Lesson Outline 2 – Modesty in Speech

All True Beauty lessons on this blog are my unedited outlines. Feel free to ask questions regarding anything that may seem unclear, since some things are written down to jog my memory.   

True Beauty, June 7, 2011


Memory Verses- Write down who gets it

Recap last week from girls

Expand– how Jesus is our number one example. Picture this, here is God’s Son. Hebrews 1:3 says, “He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of His nature, and He upholds the universe by the word of His power.” Here is the radiance of the glory of God, we can’t even imagine His beauty- He was perfect. Absolutely flawless. Then, He came to earth and His beauty was gone.

Isaiah 53:2– “…He had no form or majesty that we should look at Him, and no beauty that we should desire Him.”

This is the greatest example of modesty we will ever know. The perfect Lord, clothed in human flesh, living in filth, and doing it all for us.

Modesty in Speech-

Have you ever killed somebody? Are you sure?

Okay, has anybody ever said something mean to you?

Have you ever said something mean to them or someone else?

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” –Proverbs 18:21

 We have so much power in this tongue. It’s the biggest muscle in our body and it needs to be disciplined, kept in check, more than almost any other part of us or we will fall and we will hurt everyone around us.

 Have you ever thought about being modest in speech before?

What do you think it means to be modest in speech?

Ephesians 4:29– “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

What is “unwholesome talk”?

You can have unwholesome talk:

About one another:

  • Gossip
  • Slander

To one another:

  • Insults
  • Ridicule
  • Sarcasm
  • Harsh words
  • Critical speech
  • Arguing


  • Complaining
  • Flattery
  • Bragging
  • Cursing

Part of being a lady is having gracious speech and using self-control in that speech. Like everyone else, we have opportunities to say hurtful, sarcastic, mean things, modesty comes by not saying them even if given the opportunity. As ladies, we want to always choose grace, class, and above all we want to speak in a manner that glorifies God.

 Matthew 12:33-37– “Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad, for the tree is known by its fruit. You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil. I tell you, on the Day of Judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”

Have you ever said something and wished you could take it back immediately?


015TOOTHPASTE (Needed: disposable plate, small container of toothpaste, soap and water for cleanup) [Hold up a $100 bill. Tell girls you’ll give the $100 to the team who can squeeze all the toothpaste onto the plate and then put every bit back into the tube… Can’t happen. Object lesson: We can say we’re sorry after we say something ugly, but it won’t change the fact that we said it. We can’t take words back after we say them, just like we can’t put toothpaste back into the tube once it’s squeezed out.

 Where does my “unwholesome talk” come from?

The relationship between my heart and mouth, “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.”


If the roots are good, the fruit will be good.

The Bible has much to say about the way we speak so we’re going to read a bunch of verses.

“A worthless man plots evil, and his speech is like a scorching fire.” –Proverbs 16:27

“The mouth of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things.” –Proverbs 15:28

“A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.” –Proverbs 15:4

“The lips of the wise spread knowledge, not so the hearts of fools.” –Proverbs 15:7

  • What does the lips of the fools spread?

“There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” –Proverbs 12:19

“By the mouth of a fool comes a rod for his back, but the lips of the wise will preserve them.” –Proverbs 14:3

“The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence. Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses. On the lips of him who has understanding, wisdom is found, but a rod is for the back of him who lacks sense. The wise lay up knowledge, but the mouth of the fools brings ruin near.” –Proverbs 10:11-14

“When words are many transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent (wise). The tongue of the righteous is choice silver, the heart of the wicked is of little worth. The lips of the righteous feed many, but fools die for lack of sense.” –Proverbs 10:19-21

  • When words are many…

“And He (Jesus) called the people to Him and said to them, ‘Hear and understand it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person.’” –Matthew 15:10-11

Take that back to the fact that we’ll have to give an account for everything we say. Every critical thing we say about someone, every piece of gossip we speak, every rumor we start, every sarcastic and hurtful thing we say, every word we yell. We will have to tell Jesus why we did it.

“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” –Colossians 4:6

“Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned.” –Titus 2:7-8

“Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.” –Proverbs 13:3

“Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it.” –1 Peter 3:10-11

“Do all things without complaining or arguing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as stars in the world, holding fast to the word of life.” –Philippians 2:14-15

  • Do you complain or argue? We are commanded not to. It doesn’t say some of the time don’t complain or argue, it says do ALL things. I’m going to remind you of this verse throughout the summer.

Again, Jesus is our example of gracious speech.

“He was oppressed, and He was afflicted, yet He opened not His mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so He opened not His mouth.” –Isaiah 53:7

Here is the King of kings, perfect in every way, being crucified, beaten, and physically destroyed because for us. Because of our sins. And He did not complain at all.

How many times do we complain about responsibilities that we are asked to do, cleaning our room, picking up our clothes, doing the dishes, taking out the trash? Those things are nothing compared to what Christ suffered for us.

The next time we want to complain, or say something hurtful, or unwholesome, think.






…before you speak.

This is a verse I have to constantly meditate on and actually pray over daily:

Psalm 141:3– “Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips.”

“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable (pleasing) in your sight, O Lord my rock and my redeemer.” –Psalm 19:14

“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor (raise an outcry) and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” –Ephesians 4:31-32

So we need to get rid of all those things, and cultivate kindness, compassion, and forgiveness.

How do we do that?

It’s not just enough to “try and do better” and work really hard at having nice speech. Eventually your real heart is going to shine through. So it seems that not only is modesty in appearance a heart issue, but so is speech.

This is not about trying to become a better person. There are “good” people who do all the right things for the wrong reasons. There are “good” people who are dying and going to hell. Not only will these good people miss out on an eternity with the Lord, they’re missing out on the best relationship they could ever dream of here on earth. I was one of those people.

My testimony.

This is a heart issue.

1 Peter 3:3-4- “Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of the hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.”

When we completely surrender our lives to Christ, He places within us His Holy Spirit, the chief example of a gentle and quiet spirit. Through Him, through the Holy Spirit is the only way we will ever have a gentle and quiet spirit, gentle and quiet heart. And from the heart the mouth speaks, so if you have a gentle and quiet heart then your words should be gentle and quiet and speak life to the hearers. But if you have a heart that is full of sin and darkness, then your words will be angry, hurtful, and mean and they will bring death to the hearers because there is no Christ in them.

Questions and answers

Memory verse:  Ephesians 4:29

Leave a Reply
Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: